How I Overcame Video Game Addiction & Reconnected With My Family
I’ve been hooked on many things. Coffee, food, alcohol…you name it. But earlier than it all, I turned into hooked on video games. On this episode, I’m going to walk you via my struggle with online game addiction and how it nearly cost me my dating with my circle of relatives. Before I cease nowadays’s an episode, I can be brutally sincere with you. So put together yourself.
Me and My Playstation: Love at First Sight In 2002, my parents offered me a PlayStation 2. When I turned into a child, I turned into diagnosed with interest deficit hyperactive sickness, or ADHD — to a twelve-yr-old with ADHD, getting a Playstation changed into like crack. Except this had to flashlights and colorful characters and didn’t kill your desires and wreck your lifestyles.
On a primary day, I performed for around 12 hours. Soon, I become spending a median of 8-10 hours gambling on the PS2 every day. On days that I didn’t have school, I performed for anywhere from 12 to fifteen hours every day. I cherished God of War, Resident Evil four, Timesplitters, Devil May Cry three, Burnout, and a variety of other video games.
The first time my mom locked up the PS2 changed into due to the fact I wasn’t studying sufficiently. Or perhaps it became due to the point I wasn’t getting any workout. My mother locked it up in her cabinet while she went to work. But what I recall was I turned into livid. How dare she? How many want to she try this? She didn’t have the proper to do this! My coronary heart becomes beating honestly fast, and I couldn’t think surely. I become experiencing palpitations; I become tense, irritable and extraordinarily unable to consciousness. And this turned into slightly 2-3 hours after she locked up my Playstation. Btw My arms had been shaking; I couldn’t assume straight. I didn’t understand this lower back then, but I become experiencing signs that are related to addiction. I pressured our cleaning lady to provide me her copy of the cupboard key, and I opened my mom’s cupboard. I quickly took out the PlayStation 2. I plugged it in, and the moment the loading screen came on, I felt all my tension dissipate. I felt waves and waves of remedy wash over me. And I felt disgrace that I became so susceptible.
The other difficulty becomes my fitness. My most significant problem approximately the food I ate become that it needs to be easy to eat at the same time as playing, tasty and that it was either fried or sweet. We want the comfort of sugar, of deep-fried food, and the reassurance that it offers. Couple that with the truth that junk food is merely clean to overeat, and I turned into on the street headed straight for disaster. Fbtw I changed into already an obese child, and I felt like humans made a laugh of me regularly… and due to this, it became smooth to find my consolation in an online game. An online game might in no way harm me (besides for you Pokemon Go). A video game wouldn’t make amusing of me and make me experience terrible about my weight. It didn’t assume me to be okay with jokes and even outright insults approximately how I seemed. My buddies did. I never permit up on how bad I felt. I continually smiled and acted find it irresistible become a funny story I was ok with. But I wasn’t. Even to these days, I experience unattractive and unpleasant. So can you blame me for selecting video games over actual life?
Because of all the time I spent sitting and gambling video games. I gained extra weight. Soon, I became a teen who was morbidly obese and was recognized as pre-diabetic.
Eventually, my mother reached out to one in all my cousins. I take into account this vividly: I changed into sitting on my couch, playing Timesplitters, and my cousin became sitting with my mother on the sofa on the alternative side, trying to talk to me approximately my trouble or in their words….My “dependency.” He’s telling me that my mother is dissatisfied and feels harm. I don’t care. My eyes are still at the display screen. He’s telling me how my mom is concerned approximately me. I don’t care. I don’t react or reply. My mom starts crying and explains to him that I have a hassle. I don’t even bother looking up from the TV. I say him she’s lying. Fbtw Then my cousin factors out that my mom is crying, while I’m nevertheless sitting and playing. He asks me if I experience no disgrace. Then I ultimately replied. I argued with him. I yelled for a while. But eventually, I couldn’t hold denying it any extra. That became once I hit rock backside. All of 13 years vintage, I hit rock bottom. I hated myself.
Addiction consists of great shame with it. Every addict is aware of the sensation. When you try to strive, and you hate your self, but you then provide into the component that controls you. As an addict, something you’re addicted to contains the weight of shame with it. You hate your self. You hate how vulnerable you sense.